The Dating Files: Can I get my number back?

So this story (thankfully) is not about me, but it totally fits the bill for less than romantic dating stories in NYC. This sad tale of singledom comes from my lovely roommate. Here's her tale of woe. (lol It's not that bad - but doesn't the drama intrigue you to keep reading!?) 

  

"Hey! I'm cute and I play in a band."



So my roomie met her guy-in-question at work. Let's call him "Digits." Roomie and Digits met about a month ago during training. After weeks of casual flirting and and the typical "getting to know you" conversations, Roomie accepted Digits' invitation to come see his band perform in Brooklyn. Score! She's totally into the creative, artistic, "I'm cute and I play in a band" type. He is a drummer which to her is ideal because that means that he has rhythm, doesn't mind being in the background, and is may have the tendency to be a little bit wild...

The night went off without a hitch. Everyone was very spirited and having a good time together when....well, let me keep it real. She was actually a tad bit buzzed and may or may not have fallen on the floor in front of him, but whatever! Point is, they shared a laugh over that and the night's other antics, danced together, and had fun. Great.

A few days later he asked her out on their first official date to the movies! Oooh la la! She chose a psychological thriller. Romantic, I know. They talked through the whole thing. After the movies they headed to the bar. Convo was great, blah blah blah, everything was amazing, and he even kissed her on the forehead. Perfection for her date #1 defined. They walked to the train hand in hand (I know, I'm throwing up for you - this is so sugary sweet, right?) at the end of the night and ended things with a sweet kiss...okay actually, they made out on the train. Not the classiest move, but guess what, who cares!? She wasn't ready, but he went for it and all ended well.

At this point they still hadn't exchanged numbers, but a few days later, back at work, Digits got the digits. Cool. It's about time, brother. In addition, he asked her out for a second date to go see a Broadway musical and to celebrate his birthday the next evening. Love it. Everything was going great!

Then, our story took a turn for the worst. Days went by and......nothing. No calls. No texts....and what happened to those birthday date plans? Beats me. A few days after that she finally saw him at work and said "Hey dude, why didn't you call me?" His response? "I'm SORRY! I'll call you next week!" Uh.....#fail. Next week, dude? No thanks.

The moral of the story is this: If you get the digits, use them because if you don't, you force me to ask the question, "Can I get my number back!?"

The Dating Files: Dom

So I went on my first online date last week with a guy that we'll call Dom (short for Dominican because ya'll know I love all things Latino and he was certainly repping the DR!). I was really excited to start getting this online research together for the blog so I could start making good on some of these posting promises.

I don't know what the proper protocol or timing of this whole thing, but essentially Dom and I hardly talked before meeting up. I mean we messaged like maybe twice and he called, but I was busy so it was whateves. I actually liked it. Straight to the point. He has an awesome job as an educator and is currently in school getting his Masters Degree. Double bonus points and shout-outs to higher education. 

We decided to meet up at a bar near my place for drinks. I wore some jeans, a white T, and a lace cardigan. Sensible. Boots. No frills. I might have even still had my show face on from work that day - ha! So anyways, he got there a bit before me and got a table. I walked in and recognized him immediately. Good sign. He looked like his picture and he was wearing the cutest green festive sweater. Handsome. 

We chatted for a bit over wine. Laughed a lot, had a good time. Then we went to a friend's holiday party. I know, right? Seems like a bit much maybe for a first meeting, but I was ready to get to my homegirl's house plus, he had on such a festive sweater that it seemed fitting (pun partially intended). It actually worked out well because I could see how he interacted with everyone and they actually rather adored him.

After an hour or so at the party I was ready to roll out so he drove me home (like a few city blocks away, but it was raining) and that was that.

Nice guy. He said he wants to see me again. That's cool. I'd be down. Not sure that he's THE ONE, but it was all good. Stay tuned, kids!

Christmas Fashion

Merry Christmas!

Tis the season and here is what I was rocking!
Dress - Forever21. Necklace - Anthropologie. Ring - Yet another $1 Joey purchase.

Holiday Cheer!

w/my roomie!

Merry Christmas to My Hair!

Merry Christmas Bloggers!

I decided to give my hair a Christmas present and try out my new Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque. I bought it on sale at the Bryant Street Market (click here for sale details).


I applied the masque to my dry hair. It also doubles as a leave-in moisturizer - shout outs to double duty! Also loving that it is packed full of natural, organic, and raw ingredients:

Contains de-ionized water, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea butter) (denotes certified organic ingredients), Argan oil, vegetable glycerin, emulsifying wax, sea kelp extract, Panthenol (vitamin B-5), essential oil blend, avocado oil, Lonicera Caprifolium (honeysuckle) flower and Lonicera Japonica (Japanese honeysuckle) flower extract, Tocopherol (vitamin E), Hyssopus Officinalis Extract, Salvia Officinalis (sage) leaf and Equisetum Arvense Extract, soybean oil and Daucus Carota Sativa (carrot) seed oil.

Some people may think that the smell is off-putting, but I LOVE IT! I think it is like the quintessential "I'm wearing my natural hair" product smell! My cat won't stop sniffing my head - she loves it too! lol. The masque is a super buttery and creamy texture so applying it was simps!

I left it on for about an hour or two (watched a tv movie in the meantime). When my movie was over, I felt my hair and IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO SUPER SOFT. Couldn't take my hands out of it. Finally, I pulled away and washed my hair (with the masque still in it) with the Shea Moisture Yucca & Baobab Thickening Shampoo. Oooh yummy! Smells so good and left my hair feeling really soft with no nasty product residue. It's nice because with some shampoos you can feel the gross waxy yuck on your hair, but that was not the case with Shea Moisture. I rinsed everything out and towel dried. Here's the shampoo deets:

Baobab oil- contains Vitamins A,C,D,E and F to fortify and strengthen hair.
Yucca- thickens hair and helps to prevent hair loss.
Biotion- strengthens hair follicle.

Ingredients: deionized water, decyl glucoside (sugar beets), yucca soap, butyrospermum parkii (shea) oil, aloe vera leaf juice, adansonia digitata (baobab) extract, biotin, sodium lauroyl lactylate (coconut oil), vegetable protein, yucca filamentosa extract, rosemary extract, bamboo extract, lonicera caprifolium (honeysuckle) flower (and) lonicera japonica (japenese honeysuckle) flower extract.

Okay, so after all of that, I applied the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, combed through my hair with a wide-toothed comb to finish detangling, and followed it up with the Shea Moisture Curling Souffle to lock in the already defined curls. I took a blow dryer with a concentrator and stretched my curls by grabbing the ends in a big handful (so the curls wouldn't straighten) and applying the warm/cool air to the root and middle. Voilà!

Check the curl.

Final look. Ps. Got the earrings for $1 at JOEY NYC on 8th Ave!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Black Feathers

Here's to a night in Little Italy with my homegirls and a black feather hat clip!

$3 from a bodega in Washington Heights

Black blazer from Forever 21, Coffe tights with $2 fishnets on top, $20 Black Friday Sale Boots from Macy's (org. $60), black romber from Macy's for like $4 (major sale), beaded brown belt from Anthropologie $9.97 (should've been $19.98 I think, but the cashier rang it up as such so I didn't complain this weekend at their 50% off sale items sale!)

2 strand twist out pin up and hat

w/my girls!

The Dating Files: My #1 Man

Hey Ladies!

Now, while I am on the journey to finding love...or at least finding really entertaining dating blog post material (don't care which one comes - they are equally welcomed), I must admit that I have actually been married for about two years now - shocking, I know!

I have been lucky enough to have the best partner in the world, a guy that all gals, single or married, need, the guy who will be there through thick and thin. I am happy to introduce to you.......MY GUSBAND!

Now what is a GUSBAND you might ask? In Queenology, 'Gusband' is the perfect blending of the words GAY + HUSBAND. He's my gay bestie. My #1.

So whenever I start catching the single blues, I remember, I've got a man - and a great one at that!

My #1 Dude

Ps. Follow my gusband at musicaltheatreguy. If ever he writes about Nene, just know he is really talking about BLACtresses!

The Dating Files: Mr. P Part 2

So after seeing Mr. P twice, I was kinda lukewarm about seeing him again. He was a nice guy and all, but like, meh, I just wasn't that into it. Unfortunately, I think he felt differently. (get caught up here: Mr. P Part 1)

Mr. P started texting me which was fine. Then he called and started talking about how he thought it was fated for us to meet. For example, he wasn't going to get on that particular subway car, but then he did and blah blah blah. I didn't think it was that deep, but he managed to find the symbolism in every single one of the totaled 2 hours that we'd spent together pointing to the fact that we were destined to be together. I'd pretty much checked out by this point and was working on a way to let him know that, but then it all came to a head this weekend.

He texted me saying that he wanted me to stop by his job to say hello. We don't work too far away from each other, but honestly, I had plans that night and wasn't going to have time. When I got home that evening I gave him a call because I didn't want to straight up ignore him. That's not hot. This is how the convo went:

Me: Hey!
Mr. P: So what happened to you today?
Me: Excuse me?
Mr. P: Did you ignore my text?
Me: No. I'm calling you right now.
Mr. P: Well I really wanted to see you. I wanted you to come to my job.
Me: Um, I was busy. I didn't leave midtown until late this evening. I figured you weren't at work.
Mr. P: I told you I work late.
Me: Um, no you didn't and besides, I was busy.
Mr. P: So just say you ignored my text then.
Me: Again, I didn't. I'm calling you now.
Mr. P: So you ignored my text.
Me: Fine. I ignored your text.
Mr. P: Thank you. Now how was your day?
Me: I'm sorry. This conversation is over. Say goodbye so I don't feel like I'm hanging up on you.
Mr. P: What? No! I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I'm sorry! Can I just hang up and call you back and start over?
Me:  Sure. *click*

Okay, so needless to say, I didn't pick up when he called back. He really must have lost his mind. I guess he thought he was my man or something, but he was clearly deluded. Mr. P has called me and texted me pretty much every day since, but there is no way I am responding. He'll get the point after a week or so, I'm sure.

Seems like Mr. P's attempts went from PREMATURE to WAY TOO LATE. I'm done.

So alas, I'm going to rate this attempt a #FAIL, but hopefully, it was an entertaining story to read as it is certainly an amusing one to tell.

The Dating Files: Mr. P Part 1

Okay guys!


As promised, here is the first update on my recently resurrected dating life! This is the story of a guy...let's call him Mr. Premature!


"Google me, boo."



I met Mr. P, not online, but on the subway of all places. Cute guy. Seemed nice. It was all good. I was all dressed up and on my way to my opening night and he complimented me on my shoes. Now, of course my first response was to think "hmmmm...is he gay?" But in all honesty, my shoes were flyy and should be appreciated by all, regardless of sexual orientation. So, I am about to get off of the subway and he asked for my number. Instead of just giving it to him, I decided to make it a bit harder so that ol' boy would have to put forth some effort to find me. I told him to contact me through my website. Oh yes! You read that correctly. MY WEBSITE. lol. So bourgeoisie.



About a week later, I actually got a message from him through my site! Can you believe it? I was pretty impressed that he even went thorough the effort. I waited about 3-4 days and texted him at the number that he left. A few more days passed and I hadn't heard from him. I was thinking, "what is wrong with this dude?" You know, you don't go through the effort of finding someone just to ignore them. So what was up with that? Upon further checking, I realized that the fault was mine and I had texted the wrong person. LOL. Uh.....my bad.



So anyways, we chatted a bit and that was fine so we decided to meet up maybe a week or so later at a local coffee spot. I dressed rather casually and had no nerves about the meeting. It was actually pretty cool. I found out more about him, nice guy, etc. We were there about an hour and then I was tired so he walked me home. Great. We had plans to go to a bar the next evening where he and his friends hosted a local game night.



I feel you, dude.



So I showed up to game night the next evening and he was definitely excited to see me. He told me that he had told all of his friends that he had a "special lady" coming....umm, okay. I've known you for five minutes, but whatever. Then throughout the whole evening he was very touchy and like, all up in my face around everyone. It almost felt kind of territorial. Ugh. So I left after about an hour because I was tired (seeing a trend here?) and he left to walk me the four or five blocks to the train. Fine. I appreciate the chivalry. As we were walking, he grabbed my hand and then gave me this unnecessarily long and lingering hug. I mean, I guess if I was into it, it would've been okay, but I really just felt like he was doing too much too fast. It was all a bit....PREMATURE.

For the exciting conclusion, read....Mr. P Part 2!

I put a ring on it!

Got this ring yeterday at Joey NYC on 8th ave for $1! Steal right!? They have about 10,000 to choose from. I'll be back!

Beanie Variations

Hey Ladies and Gents,

I got inspired and put both my tan beanie and tan headband on this morning. I present to you....BEANIE VARIATIONS!

Subway Stylist

Hey gals,

Let me know - is this a mess? Tonight on my way home from midtown, I decided to twist my hair on the train. I have a 25 minute commute and I figured I should multi-task so that I could get to bed earlier. Is that extra un-classy?

My mobile salon!

The Dating Files: What was that!?

Ladies!

I am SO confused. Can someone please help me out? My question for tonight is, how do you know if you are on a date, a hang-out, or a meeting? I feel like the lines are so blurry in that area these days that one can never know what's going on. Since chivalry is pretty much a dying art (sadly) I feel like, if a guy follows the typical old school model of courting, then you are on a date, right? Like, he picks you up, you go out, he pays... I don't know.

Does money make the distinction? Like, if he pays is it a date, but if you go dutch (ewww) it's a hang-out? Or is the distinction made in the intention?

"Sooooo....what is this?"

Let me know. I'm trying to step my dating game up (See Online Boyfriend Shopping), but I'm not going into this thing blinded.

Holler at me..

Ps.Get ready for some of these dating stories that I am about to share lol!

ROCK YOUR CURLS! (and save your money!)

Natural New Yorkers!

Shea Moisture products are on a serious sale at the marketplace in Bryant Park (6th Ave between 41st and 42nd streets) now through January 8th! 3-full-sized products for $20!

Tonight I bought and used the CURL ENHANCING SMOOTHIE followed by the CURLING SOUFFLE on my twist-out. My hair is sooooo super soft now and certainly moisturized, but I am wondering if I used a bit too much because when I touch my hair I feel residue. Another bonus is that it smells soooo delicious!

Also, Miss Jessie's is on sale buy one get one free now through December 31st online at www.missjessies.com and in Target through tomorrow.

ROCK YOUR CURLS! (and save your money!)

Twist-out Madness!

OMG you guys! I cannot get enough of twist outs right now! Is there anything more fun than twisting your hair at night while on the phone with your homegirls til 1am then taking the twists out the next day? lol Okay, so I just gave you a lot of detail, but alas.

Here are my looks from the past 2 days!

twist-out beanie

blurry twist-out



Don't-feel-like-doing-my-hair Hair

Good morning!

Didn't feel like doing my hair today so I just threw on a beanie and added a 2-strand twist headband to the style. Don't mind the tranny eyelashes...I'm getting ready for my show! Smooches!

Co-Washing in Brief

What's up fam?

It was time for me to wash my hair, but instead of using shampoo, I decided to do a co-wash or a conditioner-only wash. Here's my process:

1. I wash on dry hair so I started by pulling my twist-out apart just a bit.

2. Here's my conditioner. I use a decent amount.

3. Working from the ends to the root and back out to the ends again, I apply the conditioner on my dry hair so that my whole head is thoroughly covered in product.

4. Cover with a plastic cap and start cooking dinner!

5. Invite your gusband over! (What's a gusband? Don't worry. I'll fill you in soon!)

Black Bean BBQ Burger, vegetables, and beans and rice.



My gusband!



7. Rinse hair in the shower, put in a leave-in and style!